


Sammy The Hamster

by violasarecool



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Banter, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 04:30:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10891734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: a work conversation turns silly





	Sammy The Hamster

It was early morning, and Brynn was flicking through emails while talking over their last few missions with Joker over the comms. "Did we ever hear back from the dealer on Omega?" Brynn asked, scanning a short message from the Illusive Man—one of many over the last few days.

"Yeah, we did, Miranda sent on a couple of messages from—hang on, I've got an incoming message, give me a moment." The sound cut abruptly as Joker evidently turned his attention to a different frequency. Brynn stared at her screen a moment longer, then sighed, closed her computer and stood up, stretching her arms above her.

There'd been an above average amount of correspondence and paperwork involved with this whole Cerberus thing already; after last night's long trip between planets spent hunched over mission dossiers, Brynn's eyes were starting to feel the strain. At this rate, even peering down the sight of a sniper rifle would be a welcome break. She rubbed a hand across her eyes, and took a few steps over to the other side of her desk, where a hamster cage sat on an elevated platform. Inside, a lump of brown fur was wiggling in the sawdust, and Brynn smiled, leaning down slightly to peer into the cage.

"How's it going, Mr. Snugglebutt?" Brynn asked fondly, sticking a finger through the cage to ruffle her hamster's fur.

There was a crackle through the speakers like an intake of breath. "What'd you just call me?"

Brynn jerked her finger back, then swore as it caught on the cage. "Jesus, I didn't realize you were back."

"You know, I can't decide if that's better or worse than _Mr. Snugglebutt._ Should I be coming up with pet names for you? You compare me to religious figures, I give you ship names?" Joker sounded like he was barely holding back laughter; Brynn groaned.

"I was talking to my hamster," she muttered, falling heavily into her desk chair.

"I thought your hamster's name was Sammy?"

"...Sammy Snugglebutt?" Brynn said, crinkling her nose sheepishly.

"Wow. I've got to say, I'm seeing a whole new side of you here, Commander."

"I named it after my first hamster," she sighed.

"Go on."

"Go on what?" Brynn asked, glancing up at the ceiling involuntarily, towards the source of the speakers.

"Why'd you name your _first_ hamster _Sammy Snugglebutt?"_ At this point, he sounded downright gleeful.

"I was 9," Brynn said flatly.

"Ah. Gotcha."

"It was my first pet; before that, even a fish would've been impractical, considering how often we moved. But this was Mom and Dad's longest commission yet, so I got a hamster."

"And baby Shepard named her firstborn Sammy Snugglebutt."

Brynn narrowed her eyes at the wall. "This is between you and me, got it?"

"Oh, of course, I wouldn't _dream_ of revealing such an intimate, _hilarious_ secret to your entire crew."

"Joker..." Brynn said, struggling to keep the laughter out of her voice.

"I mean, it's not like they're all convinced you're a super serious commanding officer who'd never name their pets anything as ridiculous as Mr. Sammy Snugglebutt."

"Joker."

"What? I'm saying I wouldn't!"

"Well, that's good," Brynn said sweetly, "because I'm also not planning on telling the crew about how you _definitely_ thought I was talking to you."

"Wait—no, I—" Joker spluttered, the sound crackling, "I was _mocking_ you, you don't get to use that against me!"

"Mm, that's not what it sounded like," Brynn said, smiling widely.

"Dammit, Shepard," Joker said, and Brynn could hear his smile even over the comm. "I guess it's a good thing no one's telling anyone any of this."

"Sure is."

"I still think I'm the one with the leverage, here."

Brynn spun around in her chair, arms behind her head. "Uh huh. You just keep telling yourself that."


End file.
